From Overlooking to Understanding: A Mother’s Journey with ADHD
From Overlooking to Understanding: A Mother’s Journey with ADHD
by Miss Sue Ng
The year 2023 holds profound significance for me as it marks a series of transformative events. After dedicating 14 years to one school, I stepped out of my comfort zone and embarked on a new chapter in my career and joined this vibrant new school. At the same time, my eldest daughter ventured off to university in the Netherlands, marking her transition into adulthood. Amidst these momentous changes, the most unexpected news came last month when my daughter courageously revealed her realisation about her ADHD (Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder) and sought our support.
ADHD, a neurodevelopmental disorder that commonly begins in childhood and often persists into adulthood, affects individuals in various ways. It is characterised by symptoms such as inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. People with ADHD may have difficulty concentrating, following instructions, organising tasks, and managing time effectively. They may also struggle with impulsiveness and exhibit restless or fidgety behaviour.
As a mother and an educator who has been working with teens and children for 22 years, it was a shock and a source of shame for me to realise that I had overlooked my daughter's ADHD symptoms. Despite my experience, I had failed to recognise the signs. However, as my daughter shared her struggles with us, it became clear that she was right about her own "diagnosis." She disclosed the hidden challenges she had faced throughout her life, including missed deadlines, difficulty with schedules, and the need to make excuses to cover up her forgetfulness. It was a painful realisation for me.
Looking back, I recall instances when my husband doubted her commitment to preparing for public exams and gaining admission to university. Sadly, I failed to defend my daughter during those moments. Additionally, there were times when I held her responsible for not attentively listening to my responses when she asked me questions. It is now clear to me that individuals with ADHD can become easily distracted as their minds attempt to focus on multiple things at once.
After learning about her condition, I attended a professional workshop on ADHD and conducted some research. It is disheartening to realise how prevalent misconceptions about ADHD are in society. People often misjudge individuals with ADHD as lazy, impolite, disobedient or even rude. In reality, individuals with ADHD put in much more effort to do tasks that may seem effortless for others. Simple activities like sitting still for 15 minutes or listening for 5 minutes without interrupting can be challenging for them.
My heart breaks knowing that I didn't acknowledge my daughter's condition earlier, preventing us from seeking professional help. If we had acted earlier, she could have received the proper assistance and training she needed. Unfortunately, she now has to navigate her ADHD and seek support on her own in a foreign country.
By sharing my daughter's story, I hope to raise awareness about ADHD and dispel the misconceptions surrounding it. It is essential for society to understand that individuals with ADHD face unique challenges, and it is our responsibility to provide them with the support and understanding they deserve. Educating children with empathy plays a crucial role in creating an inclusive and supportive environment for individuals with ADHD to thrive in their personal and academic lives.
Let us work together to promote awareness, knowledge, and compassion for individuals with ADHD, ensuring that they receive the understanding and resources they need to overcome the obstacles they face.